Ok, so this is freaking ridiculous.
I know I am dating myself with this post, but *music today isn’t like it use to be*… well it ISN’T! 
Ok, so I’m not that old, (I’m sure there are people out there will say the same things about the music I grew up with and think is “cool”… i.e. Foo Fighters, Nirvana, Smashing Pumpkins… even a little more modern like Evanescence and Linkin Park), but SERIOUSLY, have you heard some of these songs coming out??
Ok, so this isn’t the first time I have vented about this before, (See “If I Was A Girl” parody here), but I couldn’t help but write again after hearing this song recently:
“Birthday Sex” by Jeremih - (LMAO!!! On this site they have “Songwriters” as “N/A” !!! Check and mate.)
Yah, the song is about getting busy on your birthday. No, not love or romance, or anything deep like that… just getting freaky on your birthday. Seriously, the guy says BIRTHDAY SEX about, oh, 200 freaking times during the song… over and over and over again.
I won’t post the lyrics here because, frankly, they are lewd and border on pornographic, (yes, you can hear it any time of the day on many radio stations worldwide I’m sure >:P ) If you want to see the lyrics, click above or right here for this joke of a song.
With all the emotional depth of a muddy puddle, this song is just a sampling of the pre-packaged and just plain asinine “hits” being pushed upon the masses these days, (my apologies if you actually like this song… please remove the icepick imbeded in your temple before proceeding with the rest of this review).
Since I feel I have the musical talent to perform in this type of “artistic” environment, (my wife Jenn is laughing her butt off at the moment with that proposition), I decided to write and, (for a negotiable sum of money, call me babe), perform the following song entitled “Stuffed French Toast”. Enjoy.
“Stuffed French Toast“
It’s your birthday so I know
you want eat in bed
Don’t worry about the crumbs because it’s your special day
Coffee brewing and the pan is heating up
Smells good, but I know you want to
eat riiiight now
You say you want syrup
I think I found it
Right behind the ketchup and the lima beans
Don’t be astounded
I think I can handle a little kitchen time
You feel so special
Tell me where you want
your gift, girl{Chorus}
Girl you know I-I-I
Girl you know I-I-II don’t usually do this
Wake up in the early morning… hoping to do something niceGirl you know I-I-I
Girl you know I-I-IDon’t need candles or cake
cause it’s a breakfast treatStuffed French Toast
Stuffed French ToastIt’s the most important meal of the day
Stuffed French Toast
Stuffed French ToastIt tastes like, tastes like… lemme eat that…last bite
I would write more verses, but my brain just turned to jelly.
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6 Comments
July 16, 2009 at 6:54 am
I remember “Smashing Pumpkins” around Halloween time. That was so much fun
Cute song. I can see you singing it now to your wife. 
You even had me singing it. Your right though some of the music out today is just garbage, at least to me. Then again I am getting old… Don’t remember much of the music way back… Opps..time for my meds now 
July 16, 2009 at 8:13 am
How funny – I just heard that “Birthday Sex” song the other day for the first time and was like “What the heck is this crap!?”. I just can’t believe they can pass that off as a “hit”. Oh that’s right, just stick “sex” in the song and it’s going straight to the top. So just edit your Stuffed French Toast, add “sex” or “hot women” – and bing you’ll be a superstar!
July 16, 2009 at 9:17 am
@ Rob – lol, no worries man, I’m getting there myself
@ Chris – no kidding! And the funny thing is, you are absolutely right, Jenn and I were just saying yesterday how it seems like EVERY song on the radio right now considered “Pop” is about sex… i mean EVERY song!!
I still think I can keep my integrity as an artist, I’m not selling out to sex… Stuffed French Toast will hit it big!!
July 16, 2009 at 9:07 pm
I totally agree with you. Today’s stuff is pretty bad overall.
July 17, 2009 at 9:09 pm
From a guy who grew up in the 50’s this is pretty funny stuff. I remember hearing the groups you wax nostalgic about driving my son to high school, I remember thinking how bad the pop music was but now he (at 25) talks about how that music makes him feel.
As far as I’m concerned pop music died after 1970.
July 17, 2009 at 10:01 pm
@ Steve – well, listen to your radio and call in to request “Stuffed French Toast!”
@ Ralph – /gasp, 1970?!?